Couples Time

With all of this hype around erotica lately, I have been very surprised by one thing. Women do not use sex toys as much as I thought. It seems like a lot of people are in committed relationships and feel like they do not need toys. Sure, no one needs toys, but aren't they so much fun?

I do not think people realize that adult toys and accessories can bring two people closer. EdenFantasys, which is my go to site for these things, has tons of products that can and are meant to be shared.

For instance, they have sex kits. Some are collections of oils and lotions while others are more naughty. They also have things the aid in different positions, for example shower handles. Sometimes those showers can get tricky.

One of the really nice things about shopping online is that you can read and watch video reviews in the privacy of your own home. And this is another great activity for you to do together, If nothing else, it gets you talking about what each other likes and does not like.

And promo codes. We love promo codes :) Use code XOXO and save 20% on all orders!

The Dangers of Stigma

Awareness. I think awareness is the only way to diminish the stigma associated with mental illness. Stigma can be so detrimental. Some people do not get help because they know that some people will treat them differently if they knew. They might be afraid that their family would ostracize them. They might be worried that they will lose their job if people thought they were unstable. People with mental illness should not feel ashamed because they need help. They need supportive people in their lives to help them get treatment.

I am blogging today about mental illness because today is Mental Health Month Blog Party over at the American Psychological Association. Not that I don't blog about mental health all the time - I just have a good reason to today :)

As many of you know, I suffer from clinical depression, panic disorder, and agoraphobia. I take five pills a day to combat these. I am not ashamed of my illness or of the fact that I see a psychologist and a therapist. I will tell anyone who wants to know. It wasn't always like that, though. I did not get treatment until well into my college years. My family thought there was nothing wrong with me, so I would just be a cry baby if I went to a doctor for it. I was always worried that people would assume I was crazy, when I knew I wasn't. It was difficult for me, the same that it is for millions of Americans.

There are lots of consequences of not seeking treatment. Homelessness, incarceration, episodes of violence, and suicide are just some of the major consequences. Others include loss of time at work, difficulties with relationships, and worsening of the disease. We need to help fight stigma so that these people who suffer from mental illness can seek treatment without fear of being judged.

Organizing Clutter

What are your best tips for keeping the clutter at bay with kids in the house? How do you help your kids develop good organizing skills?


I am not sure that I am a good person to answer this question. With too many people in a too small apartment, I feel like there is clutter everywhere. There is constantly a pile of papers and books that need to be gone through. I will do my best though :)


I help my child develop good organizing skills by demonstrating how I do it. I try to keep my clutter minimized and hopefully he will pick up on this as he gets older too. I keep my papers organized in folders in a file cabinet and I throw out anything that I do not need. I give away or donate things that I did not know I had and will not miss. I try to only keep a couple of papers a week that he brings home from school. I am sure that even this is more than necessary, but I think it is a good start. I recycle anything that can be.


I also have his room set up so that everything has a place. Every toy has a place with other toys that are similar. For example, all the play dough is in one basket, while Mr. Potato Head has a separate basket. He has too many toys for the size of his room, though. I have a really hard time deciding on which toys to give away. As he gets older I will involve him more in this process.


Need some advice or have some to give? Join the conversation over at Blogher. There is also a contest for an iPod and an iTunes gift certificate, all you need to do is leave a comment with your life well lived moment. The contest ends tomorrow, though, so hurry!

Closed for the Day

I am over at Circle of Moms today. Go check it out!

F is for FAT

I used to be overweight. My doctors wanted me to lose 30 pounds. It seemed like an impossible feat. Luckily (?) I get nauseated when I get stressed. One summer I was totally stressed out and did not eat much of anything. I told everyone I was fasting. You know what? It totally worked. Lost a ton of weight - over my demanding 30 lbs.

I've been easily keeping at that weight since. Well, not easily, but it has been steady. And I like it. I feel much better about myself. Sure, I would like to lose a bit more weight (who doesn't?), but generally I am okay with it.

Well, I was.

In the past week or so I have been feeling very fat. I've been pretty sure for months now that I have gained some weight, but everyone around me insists that I haven't. I don't use a scale but once a month or so when I see my parents. So, I generally don't know if I've changed weight. When I weighed myself this weekend, the number was definitely higher than before. I know it is.

I've been exercising more than I was before. I walk almost 4 miles a day. To work and back. And before the weather was nice, I was doing Tae Bo. So what the fuck? My eating habits have not changed much. I probably eat out a bit more often, but I usually try to choose the healthier option.

My mind hates me. It is mean and cruel. It wants me to feel bad about myself. Positive thinking is nothing compared to the negativity. So, am I really gaining weight? Am I really fat? Is my mind just playing tricks on me? I don't know. I'm just going to step up the exercising and the healthy eating and hope that helps.

A More Comfortable Work Space

An invention you'd like to see created.


As I mentioned on Twitter yesterday, my desk at work is freezing. I always have a hoodie on, even in the summer. I keep one handy even on the warmest of days. And the winter? Forget about it. It's time to sit here with my jacket on. Today has been, thankfully, a little warmer - only a hoodie no jacket. But still chilly.


I would love to see heated office chairs. Why do cars get a monopoly on these things? My butt needs to be warm in other situations, as well. Such as at work. I would be more inclined to, well, sit at my desk? I guess it wouldn't effect my productivity, but I think it is still a necessity. Can someone get these started for me?