Late

I am late. Well, I will be very shortly. I cannot handle being late. I wish I could accurately describe the feeling to you. It's like "OhNoOhNoOhNoOhNo" my heart is racing. I can't calm down. I try to close my eyes but I physically can't. I'm not exaggerating. Like they pop right back open. It's my therapy appointment. If there is one person in the world who would not be upset it's my therapist, yet here I am, freaking out.

My family is always late. Again, not exaggerating. Sometimes hours late. I cannot stand it. I can't be late.

It's okay if they make me wait. That is fine. I'm very patient, but if I make someone wait a minute I freak out. I'mSoSorryI'mSoSorry!

I have ativan with me, but alas, no water and I can't chance it getting stuck in my throat like it does. As if that can be worse than how I feel, but it would be both feelings at once and I DEFINITELY can't handle that.

I didn't even cause this lateness. The bus was held up by traffic. Then I missed my train and now I'm on a slightly later one. I'll be late in 33 minutes. 33 minutes.

Until then I'm going to sit here and feel like the world is ending.