2005 Raine

Here is my chosen writing assignment from Mama Kat:

2.) If you could have given yourself a snapshot five years ago of what your life is like now, what would the picture be of and how do you think you would have felt about it?

First, I think we should meet 2005 Raine. In January 2005 Raine had just moved from Denver back into her parent's house in Maine. She left behind a husband whose new bff was crystal meth and took along a little drinking problem. She thought everyday would be her last. She was certain that the infinite sadness would kill her. She felt like a miserable failure.

You wouldn't have liked her.

Zipping forward to today, I take a snapshot of my life and bring it back to her. She takes one look at it and says "What the fuck?? How the hell did this happen??"

2005 Raine sees a single mother living with her toddler and dog in Salem, MA. She sees a wonderful mother and perfect child. She sees her working at a prestigious hospital, working toward a cure for a fatal disease. She doesn't necessarily see a happy woman, but this woman she is looking at is no drunk.

"How did this happen?" she repeats.

I tell her that the next five years will be by far the most difficult in her life. I tell her that during those five years she will get back together with her husband, have a child, get a divorce, a restraining order, and file for bankruptcy.

I tell her that she survives it.

2005 Raine does not understand. She asks how it is humanly possible to survive all of that in five short years. She is scared.

But then she looks again at the snapshot. She sees that I had survived it all. She is proud of me. She is proud of herself.

The only thing I would ask of 2005 Raine is to remember that this too shall pass. I ask her to remember that she will survive. I tell her that in five years she will be better off. She will have a good life. Hopefully she listens.