A couple of conversations/comments lately have gotten me thinking about how when you know no different, things don't seem weird. It is not until someone else tells you or you are removed from the situation that you see something is off or different.
My parents do not drink alcohol. Like ever. I never thought it was weird. *shrug* "I don't know, they just don't." Then someone pointed out that it was strange. I had never thought of it being strange before. They used to drink, but now they don't. As far as I know there isn't any real reason.
Another childhood example: we never opened food. My SIL came over one day (before she was my SIL) and suggested eating the cookies. My bro and I thought she was crazy - the package wasn't open. She suggested opening it. "Uhh... We can't do that."
While I was married, I had to check the bank account every single day to see if he had spent money and not told me. Every single day I was afraid something unexpected would come up and things would start bouncing. Eventually I bought a lock box to keep my credit cards and checks in. I had to hide the key way back in the crawl space where I knew that the ex wouldn't be able to find it. Every marriage isn't like that?
Ryder probably doesn't know right now that most kids have two parents. Has no idea that most kids have two sets of grandparents. He will figure it out soon, I suppose, but for now he has no idea.
I've been feeling really guilty lately about "borrowing" my parents' car for the last couple of years. I haven't bought it from them. I pay for the insurance and repairs and such, but not for the actual vehicle. "Parents do give their children cars." I was dumbfounded. Not in my world they don't.
I come from a wonderful home. My family is great. I was never abused in any way. My parents are still together and my mom has never bought a lock box. I am not exactly sure why somethings in my life never seemed strange to me. "Well, that's how it is, I guess," and continue on my way.
It's human nature. We assume that our own existence, our own world, is "normal," and we think that everything else is "strange" or "other." It's why kids from abusive households often grow up to marry, or to be, abusers. They think that's just how things are supposed to be. It's why we are so amazed and sometimes repulsed by other cultures - they're just not "normal" to us.
ReplyDeleteTelevision actually performs a very valuable public information role, by bringing other cultures into our living rooms, whether it's a sit-com about a family that yells or is sarcastic, but never hits, or a documentary about another country or religion. It can really help people see that their way of being isn't the only "normal" way to be.
It's very true. What's "normal" to you isn't to someone else. I rarely drink myself and that is my norm, some people find it strange. I don't. I think you need to find ways and things that work for you and that you're comfortable with. To hell with other people who might not think it's normal.
ReplyDeletei've often asked myself, "what is normal?". i'm still haven't found an answer.
ReplyDeletep.s. thanks for participating in the give away. your number is 5. good luck!