The Worst Field Trip Ever

The worst field trip I ever went on.

I loved summer camp at the YMCA. I remember loving winning the Who Can Fall Asleep Fastest award every day! I have always loved my naps. Sometimes they took us on field trips, usually to the playground a couple of blocks away. On one of these trips I was standing in the middle of the jungle gym and I desperately wanted to reach the top. So I took a huge jump but at the height of my ascent I felt a sharp pain in my arm. I fell on to the tar - because we were tough kids who didn't need pansy wood chips on our playgrounds. One of the counselors came running over and told me that a bee had stung me. I remember crying and crying and the counselor carried me back to the Y. I remember him telling me that bees only stung once because they die when their stinger was torn out. This somehow made 5 year old me feel better. 

What's In Your Chest?

A precious item that you have kept from your childhood. I haven't thought about this in a very long time. There are only a few things that I have kept. I try to keep my life as uncluttered as possible. I still have the issue of Rolling Stones with Kurt Cobain on the cover. I keep it in a chest by my bed. I have always loved Kurt and Nirvana. He had the most beautiful blue eyes... I also kept a newspaper after 9/11. These two things impacted my life significantly, and I'm sure lots of other people as well.

Three Parenting Pains

Parenting. It is fucking hard.

Bath time: First off, I do not make my kid take a bath every day. I have two hours with him a day, I'm not going to spend it fighting with him about bath time every day. He hates the bath. I think he doesn't like the water on his head. It has been very difficult getting him clean lately. At first he was screaming like I was killing him. It really helped when there was two people, one to hold him and one to clean him. When we were at a hotel I was convinced someone was going to call the police. Anyways, I had to hold him down to keep him in the tub. He hit and kicked me. It was ugly. Now, I try to use a washcloth instead of pouring water on him as much as possible, then when I do have to pour the water I do it very slowly. Very slowly. And I get him to wash himself, which seems to work pretty well. He still says he is scared of the bath.

Scared: I laughed at a coworker a few months ago when he told us his daughter was afraid of everything. "Oh that is so cute!" I exclaimed. Not cute. Really annoying. He claims to be afraid of everything: his bed, my room, the dog, water, dinner, leaving the couch. He is not afraid of the GameCube though. That is just fine. I don't know what is real and what isn't. I don't want to make anything worse, but I don't want to give in to every fear, real or imagined.

Bed wetting: He has only done this twice, but it makes me worry. Sure, they are probably truly accidents, but what if there is an actual problem? How would I know? Should I be doing something different? I'm probably worried about nothing.

That is how it is, though, right? Worry, worry, worry. Worry and guilt. Sometimes being a parent is fun. Sometimes it is so not.

What do you worry about?

Summer, O Summer, Where Hath Thee Gone?

<p>Another summer is coming to a close and I feel like mine was not complete. Which is ridiculous. I went to Canada, North Conway, camping, swimming, hiking, letterboxing, and went on a few dates. What is wrong with me? </p>
<p>I feel like we didn't go to the pool enough, so I desperately want to go this weekend, but there is a friggin hurricane coming. </p>
<p>I think it stems from plain old mommy guilt. I work all week, then I try to spend time outdoors on the weekend. That's really all I get with him, the weekends, and that makes me feel shitty. To top that off, Ryder goes to summer school, so this is his real first week off, just to start again in two weeks. His school is only 10 hours a week and he loves it, but I still feel guilty. I hated school and I assume everyone else does to.</p>
<p>He is such a happy boy. He loves everyone and he does way more than I got to do when I was young, yet I constantly worry I am not enough.</p>
<p>Speaking of that, every once in a while I get so angry that I don't receive child support. I do fine by myself, but I find myself dreaming how life would be with an extra $100 a week. I could get the internet at home. Buy a new (used) car that I could love. I see fathers who pay child support and struggle a bit. Yet Ryder's father gets off scott free. And the amount he owes is so large that that amount makes no difference what it is. What's the difference between a hundred and a million when you are getting nothing? That makes me angry.</p>
<p>That covers guilt and anger. I have, actually, been happy lately. I am staying busy and have had some adult time lately. Man how I've missed adult time.</p>

Summers are not long enough. Weekends are not long enough. Days are not long enough.

Ten Lessons From Ryder

You all know that I learn things from the playground. Sometimes I learn things straight from Ryder. Here are 10 things that I ought to learn from him.

1. How to make friends
2. How to enjoy life
3. How to dance
4. How to love unconditionally
5. How to sing - even if you don't know the words
6. How to take my time
7. How to enjoy school
8. How to live without the internet
9. How to assert myself without thought of repercussions
10. How to play nicely

Tipping: Dos and Don'ts

I waited tables for quite some time in my younger years. (Doesn't that make me sound old?) I have also delivered pizzas. Those are my qualifications for being a tipping expert.

• Do tip your waitress 15% - 20% - Waitstaff make less than minimum wage. They depend on tips for their living.
• Don't base your tip on the food, just the service - Your server did not make the food, it is not their fault if it is bad. But it is their business to get you a new dish or whatever.
• Do tip your delivery man - They probably make minimum wage, and I don't know what it is like where you live, but you cannot survive on minimum wage around here. A flat $2 tip is fine.
• Don't worry if you can only leave change - I actually liked change. I told everyone it was my honeymoon money.
• Do tip the hairdresser and taxi driver - Unless you want to look like Stevie Nicks next time you go to get a hair cut.
• Don't tip everyone - I mean, if you really want to by all means, but you do not have to. The guy pumping your gas does not expect a tip. And, please, those postal workers get better benefits than I do.
• Do tip more for exceptional service - Again, you don't have to, but a good tip is incentive for waitstaff to provide out-of-their-way service
• Don't tip based on the chart on your receipt - Lately I have been seeing on receipts that they tell you how much to tip based on 15, 20, and 25 percent. Sometimes they are wrong! Some are trying to trick you into tipping too much. Buy one of those pocket tipping charts.

What do you think?

Dating = Normality?

Dating makes me feel normal for some reason.

I didn't ever really date before I was married. Sure, I hooked up with plenty of guys, but I didn't date them.

At first I was feeling almost like I was weak for wanting to date. Like I don't need anyone else. I'm secure by myself. I've been this long by myself.

But now that I'm trying it out, I feel normal.

Kinda like Seinfeld or Sex in the City or some other third show. Especially now that I think it is okay for me to date someone I don't necessarily want to marry. Then again, how will you know if someone is the marrying kind without dating them. I picture those shows where they have bad dates and that makes me a bit more optimistic (shaky ground here). Makes me feel like if the date goes badly, that is okay too.

This is all new to me, but I am glad I am venturing into new territory. It doesn't mean I'm weak. I just want to have some fun.