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Grandparents wanted: Serious applicants only. Persons who do not like children, never want to babysit, can't be bothered with birthday parties, are easily annoyed and think only of themselves need not apply.
That's right. I'm letting all out. My parents suck as grandparents and I'm making a vow right now that I will never be like them. Let me give you a few examples. Recently, my son had a birthday party. My in-laws went out of there way to come to the party, even requesting the day off of work. Here's the conversation I had with my dad.
"Oh is that this coming weekend?"
"Yes. Birthday parties are usually held around the time of your birthday."
"It's opening day for hockey here and I have tickets to an NFL game on Sunday. I think we will have to come some other weekend. I'll send him a card."
F**k your card. He doesn't want a card. He wants you to come out and see him. He wants you to take him to the hockey game. Just him. He wants you to visit us and not just for "special" occasions. He wants you to see him play baseball. Something you managed to do once in a 15 game season. He wants you.
Now let's move on to the converstation I had with my mom (note: My parents are divorced and remarried)
"Are you coming to the party this weekend?"
"Is you dad?"
"I'm not sure. Why do you care?"
"I don't. In fact, I have all week off of work."
"You could come out Friday and help me with the cake and go to this big school event we are having."
"Well, I told your grandmother that I would take her to Buffalo."
"Buffalo?"
"Yeah, she wants to visit her brother. So by the time I get back and get home it will be Friday."
"Oh."
"Are you mad? I'll call you on my way home and let you know if we can come."
"Sure. Okay."
How many of you think she came? That's right, she didn't. How many of you think she called? That's right, she didn't. Not till Sunday when she knew we would be in church and then she left a message. A message that said, "sorry I couldn't make it to your party. I'll put a package in the mail for you this week."
F**k your package. Your grandson wants to see you. He wants to feel like he is important to you. He wants you to bring him a present, not mail him a present. He wants you to spend time with him, not send him to the basement with his new toy. He wants you.
And even though I'm 37, I want you both too.
I want to be more important than hockey.
I want to be more important that Buffalo.
I want you to want to visit.
Not feel like you have too.
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Wow her parents really do sound like jackasses. This Blerapy thing is fun!
ReplyDeleteI have the same feeling about mine, Anonymous. My kids would probably like to have some toys or clothes or games for Christmas, not a sackful of cookies sent in the mail that crumble to dust en route.
ReplyDeleteThey might also like a gift for their birthdays, rather than an electronic card sent on the computer which they don't use.
Ah, wow. Venting is great!
That really, really sucks. I just don't understand when people (parents or grandparents) choose not to be involved in the lives of the little ones. It's heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteWow, that sucks! I don't get people like that....
ReplyDeleteYeah, that is super shitty. It is really sad when people dont get involved in their children's/grandchildren's lives. None of my ex's family does so much as send a christmas card, yet every year I send them one. What can you do?
ReplyDeleteThat's crap. I don't get it either..
ReplyDeleteThat sucks, big time. And i think it may even make it feel worse that it's your parents, not the in-laws. I'm sorry your kid has to deal with that, but at least he has other grandparents and parents in his life.
ReplyDeleteI ride Melissa's coat tails.. that sucks that it's your parents.
ReplyDeleteBUT YOU KNOW WHAT..
I have a father whose a total idiot. I eventually cut him out of my life: to be able to ensure that my children do not grow up the way I did.
* be your kiddos everything and put stock in the relatives who ARE good for you and your kids. I said YOU and your kids.
We're all dealt shitty cards sometimes.. it's up to you to choose whether to hold them or fold them.
OMG .. HOW AWESOME WAS THAT CRAP I JUST CAME UP WITH??
* toot toot
BEST WISHES..
* focus your energy on relationships that give back... it will help heal you.
On a similar note and in a similar situation, my dad once said, in regards to not being able to come to a party, "Well, the ______ Open's on tv that day and you know how important those big golf tournaments are to us." WTF? I'm glad I'm not the only one wondering WHY our kids have these people for grandparents. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteSupah.....did you stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night? Cuz you are starting to sound like a therapist.....
ReplyDelete"I'll send a card"!!!! WTF is that! So ridiculous. I'm sorry that you got stuck with the loser parents. I would just say that next year you send them an invitation with an RSVP card in it. They can send all their excuses in the letter and then you don't have to talk about it.....then invite the people who really love your kids and make a big deal out of them-because they are the ones who make a big deal out of your kids. It will hurt the kids that the grandparents don't show up, but eventually they will learn that there are lots of other people who love them. Even though you are an adult, I would say the word for their behavior is neglect. And it sucks!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for all your kind words. The card my mother send came today with a $10 bill and two blockbuster cards. Is she serious??? My son just turned 6...he's never even been to blockbuster.
ReplyDeleteMan that is the worst.... What a crazy story!
ReplyDeleteTerrible! You expect that kind of stuff from in-laws. (I've come to anyway.) But not from your own parents!!
ReplyDelete