My First Arrest

Image by comprehension via Flickr

I have been handing you, my loyal readers, some heavy shit. I feel like you need to hear a funny story, so I present to you: My First Arrest.

It was mid-afternoon and time to smoke a bowl. There is a really nice park along the river just off of campus, so that is where we went. It was me and my friends Matt and Tom. We parked along the river in my car in such a way that we could watch the birds and such. Then we pulled out the pipe.

We got stoned and marvelled over the birds. "Man, where do you think that bird is going?" "Do you think it is gonna fly south?" "Could you imagine flying south?" "That would be hard work, man." "Maybe we should follow it."

That reminded me that a girl had told me that as soon as it got dark, the police patrolled the park.

"Guys, we really need to leave before it gets dark; before the cops come." "Sure." "Yeah, we'll just follow that bird."

And we sat. And smoked some more.

"We really ought to be going." "Yeah."

And we sat. And smoked some more. It got darker and darker.

"It's getting dark now, we should go." "uh huh." "Yup." But we didn't go. We just sat.

Then the blues. Shit. The bowl was sitting in the center console. Matt told Tom to grab the bowl, but due to confusion and being stoned he did not and the cop came over to my window.

"License and registration. What are you guys doing here?"

"Just hanging out."

"What is that?" The cop shined the flashlight right onto the bowl.

"What is what?"

"That. Please hand it to me."

"Oh, do you mean this?" I handed him the bowl. He asked me to step out of the car.

"What is in this pipe?"

"Nothing."

"We need your permission to search your car."

"And if I say no?"

"I will arrest you." Okay, search the car it is! He asked if there was anything in the car that he should know about. So I told him about the rest of the paraphernalia in the car.

My friends were talking to the officers. I think Tom was saying something about the cops having no idea what they were talking about. The officer showed him his D.A.R.E. pin. He was qualified. Matt was pleading with Tom to "Shut the fuck up."

Next I know, I am being cuffed and shoved into the back of the cop car. Unbeknownst to me at the time, they cuffed Tom, as well, because he was underage and Matt was just stuck there. Without a phone.

The cops were real nice to me at the station. They had me fill out a statement and kept asking me if I wanted to write anything else. Like what was in the pipe. Nope, I was all set. I was stoned but not an idiot. Well, a complete idiot.

I called my friend on campus and she came and bailed me out. I cried when I saw her. But then we went to some frats and all was well.

Wanna hear what happened when my parents found out? Click here.