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I am a failure... Pass the bottle... Oh, God, don't go... Why is this happening?... What am I going to do now?... I need a cigarette... I am afraid of my husband... I am going to go cry at the restaurant... I couldn't keep my husband... They were right... I need another drink... And another smoke... And a knife... I am a failure... I can't even kill myself...
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I am afraid of running into that person when I go out there. But I miss the mountains and I miss my friend and I miss the sun and I miss the city. I can't wait to meet her baby. My son will meet his estranged grandparents. I can't wait to go, but I am afraid of the memories.
memories are just that, memories...but you have come so far! You will be able to walk back into that city, head held high and shoulders back, keep the memories, but let them serve as a reminder of how far you have come.....way to go lady!
ReplyDeleteYou're taking the better part of yourself back to Denver, you are not going there to reclaim an old you.
ReplyDeleteRemember all the things you loved about being there. It'll be a great trip!
You will have a great time and with little man with you - no ghosts will appear.
ReplyDeleteFrannie is right (as usual). Let her go. She's not there waiting for you and you are most definitely NOT bringing her with you.
ReplyDeleteI bet you will surprise yourself and feel liberated and whole.
You are strong for going back. I am sure it will be hard at times but it will be worth it in the end.
ReplyDeleteIf you pay for my ticket, I will go with you for moral support. :) The Raine you are now is good, and doesn't need the Raine you were then.
ReplyDeleteWow Raine! I just shed a tear or two reading that. Thinking of how much you have changed and grown over the years! I am so proud of you! I also hope to see you ;)!
ReplyDeleteI don't think I could add anything to everything your friends have already posted. Except a hug and a heart.
ReplyDelete<3
Are you and Ryder coming up this weekend?