It Was Only a Second

Okay, maybe it was a couple of seconds.  Okay, maybe it was like five.  Anyways, it wasn't long and when I turned around he wasn't there.

We went to the Children's Museum today.  We were in the very exciting Curious George exhibit.  (Did you know that the writer had to bike out of Paris with the manuscript in his pocket to flee from the Nazis?)  There was approximately One Trillion people there today.  I went into my bag and when I looked up he was not standing where he was five seconds ago.

He was standing right over there - so I went over there and he wasn't there.  Okay.  He was playing on the slide so he's probably over there.  Okay, not at the slide.  It's okay.  He is here.  It is an enclosed exhibit and the odds of him walking out of it is very slim.  Breathe.  Maybe he wandered over there?  Nope.  Breathe.  Breathe.  There are a million kids, just slowly look through them.  Oh god.  This is not happening.  This is not happening.

That's when I saw him come down the slide.  The stairs up to the slide are inside a rocket, so he could have been out of sight when I looked over there.  I thought I was going to die.

A minute later I heard a mother say "We've gotta look for him.  He is here somewhere."  Then I felt better.

Fellow Commuter

Dear Fellow Commuter,

You are a douche bag.  Maybe you didn't notice the 60 mph winds last night?  Perhaps you didn't notice all the fallen trees?  Apparently you were lucky to wake up to a dry, warm, fully functional house this morning.  Well, here's the big news:  not everybody did.

You did notice that the trains are running late - good for you!  That coffee must be working!

Here is a little tid bit that I would like to share with you.  High winds = Power outages.  Power outages = Signal problems.  Signal problems = Late trains.

So, D.B. (can I call you that?) it is not the conductor's fault that you are late for work.  Neither is it the engineer's fault.  Actually, it isn't even really the MBCR, either.  Blame Mother Nature.

When the conductor told you that the train was express to Boston, that is what she was told.  When the conductor then told you that it had been changed and we were no longer express, that is what she was told.  I assure you that she does not make the decisions on where and when to stop.  And, don't you think, she doesn't like being late either??

And about the fares.  First of all, you have a monthly pass so shut the fuck up.  It doesn't affect you in the least.  Secondly, the conductor has to charge everyone.  All that you, and the rest of the train, has to do is go online, fill out a short form, and you get your money back!  Actually, double because they send us round-trip tickets.

So, do us all a big favor and keep quiet.  Nobody likes being late, but hearing someone yelling about it makes it way worse.  And you are not going to accomplish anything.  If you want to complain, when you get to your little cubicle, email the MBCR and tell them.  We don't want to hear it.

Thanks,
Fellow Late Commuter

Pay It Forward

The lovely, lovely, lovely Mrs. Lovely chose me for her pay it forward!  Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!  She is probably the sweetest person I've ever known!  Seriously.  Look at all the good stuff I got:

I don't know how she knew that I use Aveeno body wash.  It's actually kinda creepy.... 

I kid, I kid. 

But seriously, I love documentaries, Aveeno, Chili's and books on World War II.  She is practically a mind-reader.  Or maybe I just talk to her often :D

So, now it is my turn.  Who will I pay it forward to?  Will it be YOU?

To Name or Not To Name, That is the Question

This week's chosen topic is actually something that I think about a lot:

2.) Brea from Tomika’s Treasure Trove wants your advice: Quick question. I am new to the blogging world, having clocked up less than 2 weeks worth of posts, and I have just had an ‘Anonymous’ commenter slam me for blogging about my daughter, mentioning her by name, posting photos and up-to-date stories about her. I have not mentioned anywhere in my blog where we live, Country OR State, or what school she goes to. I have also seen, on several other blogs, that other parents do the same thing as me. Some even mention where they live. I was wondering, as a fellow blogger who posts about your family, what are your thoughts on the subject?

In case you are new to the game, I am Raine and my son is Ryder.  I am quite comfortable telling you this.  His name is actually on my banner.  I also post pictures of the two of us.  And, if you observant at all enough, you know where I live, city and state.

Okay, so why do I divulge so much information?  First and foremost I am quite open and honest.  I know confessionals are suppose to be anonymous (right?  I've never actually been in one) but, please, the priest totally knows who you are.  I think I have actually made it more difficult to find my blog if you know me than if you don't.

So that sorta explains why I put my name out there, but the real question is Ryder's name.  First of all, his last name is different then mine, so good luck figuring that out.  But here is my theory/reasoning/what-have-you.  The main reason people sheild their children is so freaks don't come and snatch them up, right?  Don't want some creepy guy finding you.  Well, if I thought that that way, then I wouldn't say Ryder's name anywhere outside my house, right?  What about at a grocery store?  Not only do they see you both, know your names, knows round-abouts where you live, possibly actually where you live, because this freak could follow you to your car and follow you home.  Right?  I won't live in fear like that.

Reasoning number two:  if there is some creep looking to snatch little kids, I highly doubt that he is doing research on the internet.  He (btw, I know that it can be a "she" but we're gonna stick with "he") probably will just cruise the local parks and/or schools.  I would think that that would be much more efficient.

I don't let my kid wear a name tag in public, though.  That is just asking for trouble.

And, quite honestly, I really like his name.  If I am going to post about him hundreds of times, I'm using it.

Lastly, why do I tell you where I live?  Well, I don't exactly give you my address but I feel like living in Salem is such a large part of my life.  Salem has so much character and is filled with so many characters, that I couldn't write about my life without talking about it.  What would I write about in October?  I'd have to take the month off!  And aren't you guys dying to hear all the effing ferris wheel updates?  Maybe if I lived on the other side of the harbor I wouldn't tell you, but I don't.

And Salem is fucking big.  There are a lot of people here.

In conclusion, Brea, I think it is okay to post whatever you feel comfortable with.  Some people post no identifying things and some people maybe share too much.  I think it is your own personal choice.  I also truly believe that this could be the last day for any one of us.  Why live in fear?

Oh, one more thing:  Fuck anonymous commenters.  If you are going to tell me I'm a shitty person or something, don't hide behind anonymous, cowards.

Playing in the Fort

Tonight we played in a fort.  Here it is:

Ryder took some pictures of his own.

He made his blue.  I couldn't figure out blue.  I could only get red.

This was our setup.

I had forgotten how fun living room forts could be!

Toy Train Living

Have you ever wondered what it would look like if you lived in a toy train world?

Whew!  Didn't miss that bus.

I hate having to wait for the train to pass.

They are so long.....

Is this where you live???

It's nice.

I hope this isn't the last thing you see.

A New View

Since I have so much spare time (**cough**) I have started a second blog.  It is The World Through a Toddler's Eyes.  Ryder takes a LOT of pictures, so here they are.  I thought they'd be an interesting point of view.  Maybe they are not.  Maybe the site will suck.  Maybe it will win awards.   Maybe Ryder will become a world famous photographer.  Or maybe he will decide tomorrow to never pick up a camera again. 

So, check it out if you wanna.  

Public Service Announcement

When in doubt, shut your mouth.

There seems to be an increasing number of stupid things being said to people who are upset. Are you guilty of any of these offenses?

Often times you come upon a coworker, a friend, or a family member who is obviously upset. Perhaps you do not know what has caused this. Perhaps you do. Either way you do not know what to say. Let me tell you right now: When in doubt, shut your mouth.

Lets look at some examples.

 You come upon a friend and they are clearly upset. They feel as though every step in life they take forward, they are pushed back two. They feel as though they are not getting anywhere, like they are trapped. What do you do?

Correct answer: Put your hand on their shoulder and tell them that things WILL get better. Perhaps talk about some future plans that she can look forward to.

Wrong answer: Say "Well, that is how life is. My whole life has been like that. You just gotta get used to it." This will only increase the feelings of hopelessness.

Your coworker is upset because they are stressing out about working with the public school systems.

Correct answer:  Put your hand on their shoulder.  Perhaps a small squeeze.  If you must say something, say "I understand and I know you will get through it."

Wrong answer:  Say "And this is only the begining!"

Someone comes to you for help.  They have tried their hardest, but still cannot solve the problem.

Correct answer:  Say "Come sit down.  We will work through this together."

Wrong answer:  Say "You are a smart girl, you can figure it out."

In conclusion:  When in doubt, close your mouth!

Adventures in Potty Training Part VI

Part I, II, III, IV, V

Maria at daycare said "No more diapers!"

I said "Okay!"

So began our new regiment. Ryder wears Pull-Ups and no pants. His potty follows him around. (Not so much in my apartment, its not really that big.) We ask him every 10 minutes if he needs to potty. We celebrate his successes and brush off the non-successes.

So far, so good.

He has been doing really well. I'm really proud of him. I am also proud of my parents because they stuck to the plan while they were babysitting - who could've predicted that??

I don't think it will be long before this series comes to a close!!

I hope I didn't just jinx myself. Knock on wood.

The only thing is is that he likes to watch it. And sometimes it goes a little crazy. I think I'm going to have to teach him to stand at some point. Isn't this where the father is supposed to come in? I'll figure it out. I always do ;)

Lists

Sunshine

So, I've been a slacker. I haven't been reading your blogs on a timely basis and have been commenting even less. But I have been reading them! Make no mistake. I'm a busy woman, though, and don't always have time to, well, you know, do anything, really.

Also I got this super duper award from 2 lovely ladies! Like a month ago Kat gave it to me and then Margaret also gave it to me! Thank you so much! It is a beaut! What do you think?


Okay, I think we all know the rules, right? Thank, link, list, pass, tell. So I pass this beauty onto the following peoples:

Katie @ Irrelevant Digressions of a Rambler because the woman needs some sunshine.

Ginny @ When the rain just won't seem to go away because she, too, needs some sunshine.

Mrs. Lovely @ The Ideologies of Melissa because she is my sunshine.

Ebony @ Sizzling Publications because her book brings sunshine to bedtime - close to every night!

Katie @ Rooftop Melodies because she just exudes sunshine.

Tabatha @ Tabulous because a little sunshine might help her out too.

There you are I hope you enjoy it!

God-Shaped Hole

I do not reread books. I figure that there are so many good books out there that I don't have time to read one book twice.

God-Shaped Hole by Tiffanie DeBartolo is different. It is the second book I've ever reread. (First being Bridge to Terabithia because I saw the movie.) This is the only book I've ever purchased after I read it. This is my favorite book.

Trixie is a woman who doesn't belong in L.A. Sure, she has the money but she is not soulless like the people around her. She answers a personals ad (If your intentions are pure, I am seeking a friend for the end of the world) and meets Jacob Grace. They have a turbulent romance full of passion, family issues, sex, and love. They are soul mates.

I feel like I connect with the characters even though I am nothing like either of them. Both are drifting through life, unhappy, searching for something (hope, faith, the meaning of it all) and find each other. They help each other become better people. They understand each other. I so want to say that I want a relationship like this, but I cannot. I guess you would have to read it to understand.

This book is the ultimate cheesy romance without the cheese. This is no Harlequin romance, ladies. The characters feel real. If you told me that they were and they were living in Memphis, I would believe you. Then I'd go looking for them.

Denver Ghosts

I am planning a trip to Denver. I am homesick for a place that was only my home for 1 1/2 short years. Mostly bad years. I cannot help but think of who I was when I left.

............................

I am a failure... Pass the bottle... Oh, God, don't go... Why is this happening?... What am I going to do now?... I need a cigarette... I am afraid of my husband... I am going to go cry at the restaurant... I couldn't keep my husband... They were right... I need another drink... And another smoke... And a knife... I am a failure... I can't even kill myself...

............................

I am afraid of running into that person when I go out there. But I miss the mountains and I miss my friend and I miss the sun and I miss the city. I can't wait to meet her baby. My son will meet his estranged grandparents. I can't wait to go, but I am afraid of the memories.

What Now?

I do not know how to relax. It does not come naturally to me. I never got an instruction manual. Maybe it is in the mail with the parenting manual.

Ryder went to play next door. My neighbor said "You can have some time for yourself." Immediately I was thinking of ways to maximize this alone time. I had to figure out what I needed to do that was easier to do without Ryder around. Should I do the dishes? No, I can do that when he goes to bed. Should I play games? No, that would not be a very efficient way to spend the time.

Finally I decided to blog about how I didn't know how to relax or know what to do when he was gone. I sat down with my laptop and he came in the door.

That was a big ol' FAIL.

My problem is is that I feel like if I am not doing something constructive, I am wasting precious time. Time that I could be using to accomplish something.

If you have time to lean, you have time to clean. That is what we were told in the restaurant biz.

Anyways, he is in bed, finally, and my mind is racing with things I could be doing. At least I already finished the dishes.

What I should do is make some tea, get a book, take a sedative and relax. What I will probably do is pick up all those damn trains on the floor.

Adventures in Potty Training Part V

Part I, II, III, IV

Ryder pooped in the potty!! Wahoo!!

I bought some bubble bath, which he loves. He wants to take a bath every day! It is no small miracle.

He was in said bath. He looked at me and said "Momma...." I asked if he needed to use the potty and as soon as I saw the nod I scooped him right out of that tub and placed him on the potty.

He sat and sat and sat and sat. He straightened his legs and curled his toes. I gave him my hand to hold.

When he was done he had pooped and peed in the potty! Celebration time! Then the toilet clogged. Seriously, his first poop and it clogged the toilet. Is this what I have to look forward to?

Who Watches the Watchmen?

I love superheroes. Batman is my favorite. I like that he is an ordinary (albeit wealthy) man who seeks revenge over his parents death. I am not that keen on Superman. He is an alien. I think that is hard to relate to.

I have decided to start reading comics. I never read comics before, except the occasional Archie. I figured that I would begin my journey with one of the best: Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons.

Did you see the movie? Well I am sure that you would guess that the book is better. (Side note: Is there any movies that are better than the books? Discuss.) It is amazing the things that they can do in the comic as opposed to the movie. They have nine panels (generally) per page to tell the story. They juxtaposition two separate scenes perfectly. They can even show something while someone somewhere else is talking over.

Do we need an example? In the book there is two minor characters, a boy reading a comic and a man who sells newspapers. In panel 1 you see what the boy is reading and the man is talking over it. The next is opposite. What the man is talking about and what the boy is reading about parallels each other, rather disturbingly.

Superheroes. I like that "normal" people see some injustice and they go out to right it. In Watchmen, they are all "normal" people besides Dr. Manhattan. I wish that I could do what they do. Every time I try to get justice, I get fucked. I try to do the right thing, but, as they say, nice guys finish last. It's the truest cliche I know.

------SPOILER ALERT!!--------

Near the end of the book Adrian says "What does fighting crime mean, exactly? Does it mean upholding the law when a woman shoplifts to feed her children, or does it mean struggling to uncover the ones who, quite legally, have brought about her poverty?" I think this pretty much sums up the book and maybe life? This is why Adrian decides that it is worth three million lives to save the rest of the world. Was he wrong? Would you or I do the same, with the same power and resources?

It helps me understand different points of view. Lets take abortion. I strongly believe that the woman should have the right to choose what happens to her own body. I am 100% primarily concerned about the woman. It is easy to say that Pro-Lifers are the enemy and that they are wrong. But, if we look at their point of view, they believe that abortion is murder. It is a moral issue. If I saw something that I felt was immoral, I too would fight it. (Granted I wouldn't go bombing clinics.) But you see what I mean? Actually, if we put the clinic bombings into the mix, is it that big of jump to relate them to Adrian?

The last thing I want to talk about is the end. At the end, everyone is united against a common enemy. I want compare that to 9/11. Not the attacks, but to the nation during the following months. Everyone put aside their differences and became Americans. Our country was truly united states. We were united against a common enemy and the outpouring of patriotism was overwhelming. Have you ever seen so many flags as you did during those months? I haven't.

I'm Interviewed!!

Ebony Haywood interviewed me for her Spotlight Tuesdays over at her blog Sizzling Publications! Go read it, now!

What I am Going to Do With '09 Tax Return: